Love Into the Light
by thedrunkgiraffe
Summary: AU: When Dean screws up royally with his husband, Cas, the memories of their times together start flooding his mind. He remembers the first time they met, their first date, etc, and it's ignited his determination to get him back.
1. Haven't Met You Yet

"Another, please." Dean set down the empty glass on the counter. He was at a bar, something he hadn't done for quite some time. He thought he had learned a while ago that the bottom of the glass certainly did not have any answers to any of his problems.

The bartender, a cute blonde girl who at some point in Dean's life a long time ago would have hit on, put her hands on her hips and sized Dean up. "I think you've had enough." She nodded her head in agreement with her own statement.

Dean turned his head slowly from side to side looking at the other inhabitants of the bar. Or rather lack thereof. _What time was it again?_ "I think I could use just a bit more." He said, defiantly.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Nope."

"If I get you another, will you talk?"

"Maybe."

She grabbed the glass and slowly filled it up. "Now talk." She carefully placed the filled glass in front of him.

"I got into it with my husband." He said, looking at her with the "are you happy now" face. Then he began chugging the drink.

"Hmm. Do you love him?"

Dean removed the glass from his lips a bit angrily, "Of course, I love him."

"Was it something so bad that he wouldn't forgive you?"

"How do you know it was my fault?" He looked at her with fire in his eyes. She didn't know their relationship and she certainly didn't know him, how could she comment on their problems?

"Well, most people who come to a bar and drink until their liver turns black do it because of guilt."

Dean looked at the girl with his lips pursed. "I said some things and we just..." He sighed. "Well apparently we don't what each other wants as much as we thought we did. You'd think with five years of marriage we would have figured that out earlier." He looked down into his glass at the half still remaining.

"Maybe you two just need to go back to what made you guys so happy before." And with that she walked off to help another customer who had just sat down.

Dean looked up from his glass and absentmindedly stared in front of him. The memory of the first time he met his husband occupied his thoughts.

* * *

Dean walked up to the apartment and knocked on the large grey door. He couldn't believe Sam talked him into this. Well, then again, his little brother could practically convince him to do anything.

"Dean!" Sam opened the door, ecstatic to see his older brother. "Come in." Dean stepped in to the large, open apartment that Sam shared with Clara. Clara was a petit, brunette, Zooey Deschanel type of girl. _Its Clarr-uh, not Clair-uh_, Dean remembered her instructing him when they first met. The apartment was filled with people that Dean didn't recognize. In other words, it was filled with all of Clara's friends. It was a big birthday party to celebrate Clara turning twenty-five. Sam invited Dean so that he wouldn't feel so out of place with all the people he didn't know in his apartment.

"Dean!" Dean rolled his eyes at the familiar British accent. "Come here, I have someone you _have_ to meet." Clara ran over and grabbed Dean's hand. She dragged him through the people to the snack table at the back. Sam followed close behind.

There was a lonely looking guy standing by himself eyeing the sliders.

"Castiel! Here he is. Dean, this is Castiel. Castiel, this is Dean."

"Hi….Castiel?" Dean looked at Clara, then his brother, then back at Castiel. Castiel was donned in a pair of black dress pants and a slim fitting white dress shirt. Dean looked at himself in just a plain black cotton shirt and a pair of jeans.

"Hi." Castiel gave a sheepish reply.

Sam and Clara looked at each other. "Well, I just thought you two would get along. Since, you both don't really know anyone at the party. And Dean you're very chatty." Clara said, smiling at both of them. _Was she expecting some kind of instant best friend connection between us?_

"Dean, isn't Castiel pretty handsome?" Clara said with the smile still spread across her face. _Was she expecting more? I mean I know I haven't gotten laid in a while, but I wasn't so desperate to go for the other team._

"I'd make a gay joke, butt fuck it." Dean chuckled to himself and added an "Okay," under his breath when no one else laughed. He then looked at Castiel. His dark hair brilliantly brought out his ice blue eyes, which Dean took proper notice of. He _was_ a bit oddly attracted to the strange man. "Uh, yeah. He's got a nice…uh hair."

Dean turned to the table to grab a slider. Everything else looked like fancy finger foods, which he was definitely not interested in. "Yum." His mouth was full when he turned to look at the three of them staring at him.

"Whaa?" He said, still chewing.

"So, maybe you two can discuss an apparent common interest in cheeseburgers." Clara said. "But we've got to get back to socializing. You two have fun now." She smiled and dragged a reluctant Sam with her.

"You know for just being roommates, he is very compliant to do whatever she tells him to do." Dean said to Castiel, who was now back to looking at the mini hamburgers. "Dude, why don't you just grab one?"

Tentatively, Castiel picked up a plate and then picked up a burger. "I'm very picky with my burgers. It disturbs me that they are so small."

"Same. I have half a mind to just ditch this place and find a diner that has actual people sized food."

Castiel laughed. "Clara would kill me if I left."

"You want a drink?" Dean asked, the burger made his mouth dry.

"Sure." They walked over to the bar and got two beers.

"So, how do you even know Clara?" Dean asked as they sat down on an empty couch in a quiet corner.

"Well, I met her and Sam our freshman year at college. Everyone thought they were the most adorable couple, until everyone realized they weren't actually together."

"They sure do act like it." Dean took a sip of his drink.

"Yeah. Well, later Clara became my best friend."

"So, how come you nor Sam actually know her friends then?" This was always a curious thing to Dean.

"We're her two guy friends. I don't know if you've noticed, but everyone else here is female. I think that's why Clara introduced us. I believe she mentioned something about wanting to keep them safe from your sex antics." Dean looked around the room. _So they are all females._

"Sex antics, huh? Well jokes on her. I haven't gotten laid in like two months." Dean's faced turned maroon. "I have no idea why I just told you that."

"Its fine." Castiel laughed. "Try no sex for twenty-four years."

"Twenty-four years? Are you telling me you're a virgin?"

"Yup."

"By choice?"

"Well, I just haven't 'found the right person.'" Castiel mimicked quotation marks in the air. "Sounds cliché or whatever, but I don't know. I have a firm belief in waiting for the right person."

"Hey, man, you're not getting slack from me. I'm just here to tell you, you're missing out." Dean took another sip. "So, now that we've gotten the most personal details out, what do you like to do Cas?"

"Cas? No one's ever called me that before." He smiled, because for the first time he, Castiel Novak, had a nickname. "Uh, I enjoy running." Dean looked at how Cas's clothes were a bit tight, highlighting his clearly defined muscles. _I bet you do. _"I learned from a young age, it's the best way to get away from…problems." His eyes looked down at the floor, sadness swimming into his eyes. "You know Mercury Park?"

"Yeah, with the huge pond?"

"Yeah. You wouldn't believe how mind altering it is just to run around the water. It's the smell. It smells…like…well it's just an amazing scent to breath in when running around." _Was I over sharing? I don't do this. Well, you already told him you're a virgin. I need to just be quiet. No one appreciates when I over share. Ugh, I can't look at him. Here's this great guy and somehow I manage to screw up a friendship in less than ten minutes._

"That sounds amazing. You'll have to take me some time." Dean smiled. He did feel a peculiar connection with this stranger. He couldn't get over his phenomenal almost black, messy, _sexy_ hair. The thought of pushing his fingers through Cas's hair popped into Dean's head for just a second.

Cas seemed surprised by Dean's interest in his self-proclaimed lame running pastime and looked up from the floor. For the first time that night, Cas's blue eyes met Dean's and the look sent a visible shiver through Dean. _Well damn, those eyes get a man to question his sexuality._

Dean couldn't remember much more after that. His head was too occupied by his thoughts of the "first sight." He did, however, remember coming home that night and not being able to sleep because all he could think about was Cas's dark messy hair and contrasting blue eyes and the fact that he wanted so desperately to see him again.

* * *

"Castiel, baby, I don't like seeing you like this." Clara curled up next to a crying Castiel on her bed.

"He said he didn't want kids, Clara. And then he had the gall to point out that _I_ should be the one with the problem with having kids." Clara winced and wrapped her arms around Castiel.

"How low does a person have to be?" She sneered.

"I just…" Castiel grabbed a tissue from the box on the bed. "I don't think I can be with him anymore. I think we need a divorce." Castiel cried into one of Clara's pillows. Karen looked up from Castiel to see Sam peering in with eyebrows furrowed. He disappeared into his room and left only Clara and a depressed, crying Castiel.

**A/N: So, this is my first time writing something like this. Hope you enjoyed reading this bit. I have like 6 other chapters written and I'm still working on the rest. Reviews/Constructive Criticism would be lovely and greatly appreciated! Thank you for reading!**


	2. By My Side

"So, Cas was looking pretty upset last night. What happened?" Sam finally broke the silence between him and his brother. They had eaten an entire meal in quiet. Well, Dean hadn't eaten all that much, he mostly just shoved his food around the plate.

"Sam, I messed up big time." Dean couldn't even bring his eyes to meet his brother's.

"What happened, Dean?" Sam pushed his plate away from him, and leaned forward.

"I said things I never should have said. My mouth just continued to word vomit." Dean looked up from the table to look at Sam, his eyes clouded with misery. "I just…I need to get him back, Sam."

"Well, considering your guys' past that shouldn't be so difficult." Sam pictured the helpless, crying Cas. _Maybe not._

"I don't think so, Sammy." Dean huffed. "I'll do anything to get him back, though."

"There you go, just _do_ anything." Sam said it like it was the simplest task in the world. He laughed to himself, "Remember when Clara and I first set you two up?"

Dean smiled with the thought, "Yeah."

* * *

Dean was instructed to tell the hostess that he was part of the Oswald reservation. And so when he arrived at the front of some fancy, expensive restaurant he told them he had a party under the name Oswald. The hostess led him back to a partially private booth in the corner of the restaurant. Dean sat and waited for his date to arrive. He adjusted the uncomfortably tight navy blue shirt Clara told him to wear. _Am I really this hopeless that I agreed to _Clara_ setting me up on a blind date?_ He took a sip of the water that had already been placed on the table. He was going on to two and a half months of not getting laid, so maybe he was that desperate. _At least the date has Sammy's approval._

"Uh-hmm" Dean looked up to see Cas clearing his throat.

"Cas?"

"Uh, yeah." Cas awkwardly stood in front of the table looking at Dean. He slid across from Dean in the booth when he noticed the hostess eyeing him oddly.

"Here are your menus. Your waiter will be out shortly." She smiled and returned to the front.

Dean grazed his face with his hand. "Son of a bitch." He murmured under his breath. _Of course, Clara would set me up with Cas. She doesn't trust me with her female friends. I knew I shouldn't have told her how much I liked Cas._

"Is there a problem, Dean?"

"No, I'm actually really glad you're here." Dean smiled up at Cas. And truth be told Dean _was_ glad Cas was there. He was thankful he could actually talk to a cool dude and eat and not have to stress about playing his cards right all night just to get laid. Even if it the whole situation was under false romantic pretenses.

"You weren't expecting me, were you?" Cas's cheeks tinged pink. For some reason, that turned Dean on a bit, but he decided to ignore the thought.

"Not exactly the blue-eyed beauty I was envisioning." Dean smiled. _But boy am I happier with this blue-eyed hottie._ Was Dean just really horny right now or was he actually attracted to Cas?

"Clara is determined to make this a thing isn't she?" Cas returned a smile.

After a few minutes of awkward silence and ordering their food, the drinks finally came.

_Oh thank God. Maybe this will help me loosen up. _Not so strangely, they were both thinking the same thing. And consequently the drinks did aid in loosening them up.

"So, Dean. You never told me what you do for a living?" Cas took a small sip, best not to get sloppy on the first date.

"I'm a firefighter." Dean took a large sip, after all this was just dinner with another dude. He didn't have to hold back. "And what about you, Mr. Enjoys Long Runs Around the Park?"

Cas grinned, "I'm a consultant to the Long Beach Police Department."

The two got into a conversation about what that would entail. Supposedly, the police department uses Cas's expertise in the psychology of criminals to aid in solving various crimes.

Throughout the rest of dinner, Dean noticed that he immensely enjoyed talking with Cas. Not that Dean had any trouble talking to people, but with Cas it was just so comfortable. The conversation just flowed. He could perfectly be himself with Cas and Cas could perfectly be himself with Dean.

Soon, they had finished their dinners. "Dessert?" Dean was always up for dessert, but wasn't sure if Cas had just wanted to get home or not.

"Of course." They settled on sharing something called crème brûlée. Dean took Cas's advice on it being delicious.

The waiter set the plate down on the table with two forks. Dean had assumed they would just cut it in half and give each their own plate. When he looked at the dessert he found that wouldn't be possible. It was a bit too personal for Dean to share a plate with another person, but at that point he just wanted to dig into the food.

Their forks clashed for the same, crispy crust. Cas giggled, "I feel like I'm on a high school date again."

Dean laughed and picked up another piece and shoved it into his mouth. _Mmm, sweet deliciousness. Wait is Cas gay?_ The thought suddenly dawned on Dean. _What if Clara knows Cas is gay and is trying to actually set me up with him? Like to be with him, romantically? _For being a semi-intelligent person, Dean took a while to catch onto things. _Would I mind if she were trying to set us up?_ _Cas is a cool dude and he is really pretty fucking hot_. _But wait, this is preposterous, Clara knows I'm straight. _I_ know I'm straight. _Dean pushed the thoughts aside and went for another forkful of the scrumptious dessert.

"I've always loved these forks. The little swirlies at the top. No other restaurant has any like this. And no one sells any similar to them." Cas was closely inspecting the fork that had once held crème brûlée. Dean enjoyed watching Cas seem so interested by a simple object.

"You should take one." Dean almost whispered, with a mischievous smile.

"I couldn't do that. I'd feel too guilty." He laughed. "It would be fun, though." Cas was certainly not one to participate in mischievous activities.

"I'll do it, if you do it." Dean on the other hand…

The waiter briskly walked past and slyly placed the bill on the corner of the table. Dean placed cash in the pocket to cover the cost and tip. He then swiped the fork clean and smoothly slid it into his pants' pocket, looking at Cas to do the same.

"Oh, come on, Cas. Live a little. It's a fork." Cas swallowed hard, and grabbed the fork off the plate and quickly placed it in his pocket. They both got up to speed walk out of the restaurant.

When they finally made it outside of the restaurant, Dean doubled over in a laughing fit. Cas stood rigid with a completely guilty face plastered on.

"Maybe we should give them back. We can just leave them on the front step. No one will know." Cas rocked uncomfortably in his shoes.

"Cas, man, they're two forks. Tell me you've never stolen a candy bar or something when you were younger." Dean was still chuckling, but recovering.

"I haven't."

"Come on." Dean grabbed Cas's arm with a smile on his face to lead him to their cars.

"Well, here I am." Cas stopped in front of the trunk of a silver Lexus.

"I gotta say, Cas, tonight was really fun. I'd love to hang out with you again. I mean without Clara meddling." Dean went in to hug Cas. He smelled a sweet scent on him. Something about the smell enticed him and in that moment it took everything in his power not to jump on Cas. _What is going on with me? I'm gunna need to release this obvious sexual frustration later._

"Yeah, that'd be great." Cas released Dean from the hug. _No, not so soon, Cas._ "Thanks for dinner. I'll pay next time. Well, goodnight, Dean."

"Goodnight, Cas." They each walked to their respective cars and drove off.

* * *

Dean opened up the top right drawer of his desk. There it was. As shiny as that night seven years ago. The fork glistened in the light of the dim lamp. It probably hadn't seen light in six years. He picked it up and looked at it. He remembered treasuring the stupid cheap piece of silverware, taking a peek at it everyday every few hours the entire week after that dinner. He wouldn't realize that that was their first date until a few months from then, but the fork had been a constant display of his feelings for Cas.

A few minutes later he found himself standing in front of Clara and Sam's large grey door twirling the fork in his hands. Dean winced remembering Cas calmly telling him he'd stay over at Clara's and then walking out and slamming the door.

Dean gently placed the fork on the front porch, and rang the doorbell. He ran to hide behind a bush on the side of the apartment. And like he had hoped, Cas opened the door. He looked around and when he saw no one he looked down. He bent down to pick up the strange silver. He cocked his head and squinted at it. _It can't be. _He remembered the tiny utensil being his safety blanket for some time after that dinner. When he felt anxious, he would just hold it. He still had his in the back of his and Dean's silverware drawer, tucked away where no one could see it. But surely Dean wouldn't keep his flimsy cheap thing for so long. He looked around once more to make sure no one was around. Dean could see him, just slightly from behind the bush, smiling.

**A/N: Thank you beaucoup for reading and reviewing and following and favoriting the first chapter Haha A virtual hug and kiss to all of you! Reviews/constructive criticism are super helpful. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

***If you don't know what crème brûlée is you can google it and stare at its delicious lookingness or watch High School Musical. *Also, I was watching an interview with Matt Smith and Jenna Coleman while writing this, thus one of the characters is Clara Oswald… *By My Side is a David Choi song and you should totally check it out…**


	3. Holding Out For A Hero

"Clara, let me talk to my husband." Dean said, irritated. He was on the phone, unfortunately with Clara. _Damn caller ID._

"No, Dean. He doesn't want to talk to you."

"Dammit Clara, I need to talk to him."

"Dean, you guys need a break. Let Castiel figure things out on his own. And you do the same. And don't call here again, Dean." Clara hung up. After the twenty-seventh call Dean finally got through to Cas's phone and of course Clara had to pick up.

Dean was left standing, staring at his phone.

* * *

"Hey, Cas! It's Dean. I got your number from Sam; I hope you don't mind." Dean had finally worked up the courage to call Cas to ask him to hang out again.

"Hey, Dean. What's up?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to go paintballing? There's this cool arena that just opened up. Paintballing on the beach. So what do you say, you wanna try it out with me?" Dean kind of rushed his words. Why was he so nervous to talk to Cas? He suddenly felt the pressure of screwing up with Cas. Something that never happened to the tough guy Dean Winchester.

"Yeah, that sounds great."

"'Kay cool. I'll pick you up Saturday at 3:00?"

"Okay. See you then."

"See ya." Dean hung up with a triumphant smile spread across his face.

"I have to admit, Dean, I'm a bit scared. I don't have much skills in the weapon department." Cas looked over at a guy rubbing a giant purple bruise on his arm. He gulped.

Dean laughed, "Its okay. I got you." Contrary to Cas, Dean was very well trained in paintball. Dean started playing paintball at a young age with his dad and Sam and just continued it as a hobby the rest of his life.

The timer started ticking down to the beginning of the round. Cas was getting increasingly nervous. He rubbed the back of his neck to try and calm down, but he still continued to squirm.

"Hey, Cas, calm down. They're just paintballs." Dean squatted behind the large barrier.

"I guess I just feel kind of defenseless." He eyed the eighteen other guys in different corners with what seemed like murder in their eyes. How did he let Dean convince him to do this? Damn that deep voice that carried through the phone and deep into Cas.

"Five, four," The timer was counting down.

"You might want to get down, though." Cas hurriedly sat next to Dean, dread apparent in his eyes.

"One, zero." Dean and Cas continued hiding where they were. They could hear the many thuds of paintballs hitting their targets.

"You ready, Cas?"

"No."

"Okay, lets go." Dean stood up and rushed over to the smaller barrier on their right, his feet kicking sand up behind him. "Come on, Cas." He motioned him over.

Dean peaked over the barrier and spotted two guys aimed right where he just ran. He looked back at Cas to motion for him to stay put.

"Ooh, looky what we got, a pretty piece of fresh meat." A large, bulky guy slowly approached the lone Cas with his paintball gun vertical to his shoulder. Cas cowered against the barrier, looking over at Dean for help. The man couldn't see Dean from where he was standing, but Dean could see him slowly lower the gun and aim it at Cas's facemask. Cas's eyebrows knit together in the moment of pure fear. _Maybe it wasn't the best idea to bring Cas paintballing._

Dean's protective instinct kicked in. "Hey, asshole. Get your own pretty boy." Dean stood up and unleashed a fury of paintballs. The man stumbled back. His legs found a short barrier, causing him to fall on his back, legs straight up in the air. _Lucky it wasn't a real gun, douchebag._

He aimed the paintball gun to his right and with two shots the two on the other side waiting for Cas were out. Cas safely darted over to Dean.

"Thanks, but did he really deserve that?" Cas questioned.

Dean's eyebrows came together into a straight line. "That dude's a grade A douchebag. I've seen him shoot ten year olds in the face. Even with a mask, it still hurts like hell. Its general knowledge you don't intentionally shoot people in the face. He just does it for kicks. Asshat." Dean spat. Even if the guy was a major douche, why was Dean having such intense hatred for the dude? Then Dean remembered the fear in Cas's eyes. That's why.

"10 players left." The speakers surrounding the arena on the beach emitted the loud announcement.

"There's only half left now." Dean peaked over the barrier to assess the situation. He saw two guys trying to hide behind a rowboat on his right. Past them were four guys, an alliance maybe, huddled in a circle covering every direction. Two shots went off and two players who had attempted to sneak up on the circle were out. "Okay we're gunna have to get those two first." Dean pointed to the rowboat. "I don't have a clear shot. Follow me." Dean began crawling towards them, being sure to stay as flat as possible, Cas did the same. He turned a corner and got a good vantage point to shoot both of them. Now, they just had to shoot the other four and they would win. Dean and Cas scurried behind the rowboat. They peered over to look at the four. There were only two now. Dean looked around and saw no one.

He decided to go after the two out in the open. One looked up to see Dean aiming. Dean quickly ducked back down to where Cas was happily staying hidden.

"Are you gonna shoot something?" Dean asked the apprehensive Cas.

Cas tentatively rose above the barrier and attempted to shoot at the two in the middle. He hadn't gotten them but he did alert them of his whereabouts. And now he was stuck standing up, a perfect target. Cas's eyes went wide when he saw the players raising their guns. He froze in panic, readying himself for the inevitable pain. He heard two shots fire next to him. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder pull him down.

"Are you crazy? You don't just stand and wait for them to shoot you."

"I'm sorry. I have no idea what I'm doing." Cas's eyes wandered to the sand at his feet.

"Okay, two left."

"But where are they?"

"Good question. Come on." Dean made his way to the end barrier right in front of the water. They kneeled and peered over the barrier. No one was in sight. _Where could they have possibly gone?_

"Dean!" Cas pulled the trigger and a red paintball splattered all over the advancing player from Dean's left.

"You saved me." Dean turned his head to the paint stained guy angrily walking out of the arena with a grunt.

"I guess I did." Cas had a big goofy grin, displaying his obvious pride in saving Dean Winchester in a game of paintball.

Dean turned to Cas, confusion racing through his brain. _Did Castiel Novak just shoot a guy to save me? _I mean it was just a game of paintball, but _Cas_ had saved _Dean_. Then suddenly a rush came over Dean. He leaped at Cas tackling him to the ground and pinning him. Dean shoved his mask up, and then pulled Cas's off his head. He propelled himself forward and his lips clashed with Cas's. Dean felt himself wanting more. His hands thrust into Cas's hair. _So that's what it feels like. _He pushed himself more into Cas. He felt Cas open his lips, inviting him in. Dean appreciative of the invitation slid his tongue in. _Tonsil hockey with Cas? Why am I enjoying this so much? Ugh, I want more. Wait, he's-_

Splat! "Ha ha! I win!" Dean felt wetness spreading through his shirt on his back. _Damn. _

Dean got up to look at the guy who got him. Some smug teenager.

Cas started cracking up. "Hey, you shut your mouth. That's what distracted me." Dean didn't handle losing very well. He did handle the fact that he had just kissed a dude for the first time _very_ well.

* * *

Cas rubbed the soft fabric between his fingers. The white shirt with the big blue paint stain had shown up on the doorstep a few minutes earlier. He recognized the shirt immediately. How could he not? It was the day of his first kiss with Dean. The moment he realized he loved Dean. He hadn't been sure if Dean was interested in him before then, but that moment sealed it for them.

He pulled the fabric up to his nose and breathed in Dean's musky scent. He swiftly pulled off the polo he had been wearing and slowly pulled on the white shirt. He looked down at the shirt. It was slightly baggy on him, but wearing it made him feel a connection with Dean.

"Hey, where'd you get that shirt?" Clara sauntered into the kitchen and opened the fridge, giving Cas a strange look.

"It was…an old friends." He smiled down at the shirt laden with memories.

**A/N: I edited this after getting my blood taken and five hours of sleep (I was like half conscious), so please excuse any mistakes or awkward writing haha But I actually kinda like the next chapter, but I still have to edit it. But it may be up tomorrow, possibly. But, reviews are lovely! (helps me to know whether I'm decent at writing or if I'm incredibly boring, either way I'd still keep writing tbh teehee) Anyways, lots of buts, but have a lovely awesome day!**


	4. Kiss Me

"Cas wants one thing at this point in his life. You aren't willing to give him that. Why would he stick around?" Dean was close to regretting asking Clara for advice until she actually came up with a viable point.

"I _want_ kids." Dean said.

"You just don't want kids with Cas." Clara's eyes shot daggers at Dean.

Dean brought his finger up to his lips, "It's not that."

"No, Dean, you had an illusion in your head of you having your _own_ children. Cas can't give that to you. How do you think that makes him feel?"

"I never said that."

"You don't have to Dean." She sighed. "He would give anything- he _did_ give everything to have a family with you and you shut him down."

"I just want him back, Clara."

"Why, Dean? You two want completely different things."

"Because I love him." His green eyes, on the verge of tears, stared right at her.

"Okay, Dean. He loves you, too. But at this moment in his life, he wants kids and you don't."

"I do want kids, though."

"Maybe you just need a bit to figure out some things. Maybe just a few more days or weeks apart will be good for both of you. And if not for you, do it for Cas."

He realized it wasn't fair of him to expect Cas to just come back to him. Maybe he did really have issues with the whole kid thing. He did remember his younger self imagining the white picket fence and little Deans running around. Was he still expecting that? But he could have that with Cas, just not actual little Deans.

"Thank you, Clara." Dean finally let out after a couple minutes of self thought.

"For what?"

"For taking care of Cas, while I can't."

"Just…please don't disappoint me, Dean. I really do believe you two are destined for each other." She patted Dean's leg and let herself out of Dean and Cas's house.

Dean turned his attention to the TV and pressed play.

* * *

"Cas, what movie do you want to watch?" Dean was shuffling through the few DVD's he had brought over to Cas's. His first time at Cas's.

"Uh, whichever. I don't think I really have a preference." Dean was learning that Cas wasn't entirely one for pop culture. Dean ultimately decided on Shaun of the Dead, a good classic comedy.

Cas walked in with a bowl of popcorn and sat down on the couch. Dean took the empty spot next to him after inserting the DVD.

The TV was the only thing that brought light to the room.

Dean was still getting adjusted to the whole dating a dude thing. He wasn't embarrassed or scared; he just wasn't sure what to do. He just knew he wanted to be closer to Cas. So, as slyly as possible he inched nearer to Cas. Thankfully, Cas was so consumed in the movie he hadn't even realized that Dean had removed the foot gap between them. Dean took a handful of popcorn from the bowl sitting on Cas's lap. _That_ drew his attention. Cas shifted uncomfortably and passed the bowl to Dean. _Fuck. _So, resorting to junior high tactics, Dean yawned and reached his arm over Cas. Cas squirmed his way deeper into Dean's shoulder. _Success. _Cas mindlessly reached over into Dean's lap to grab some popcorn. _Ugh, couldn't have picked a bit more boring movie, Winchester? _Dean wanted Cas to like the things he liked, but he also wanted all of Cas's attention on him. Dean was hungry for that kiss again. And he just kept staring at the messy hair atop Cas's head. _Maybe he won't notice if I just start pushing my fingers through his hair. That's not weird, right? No, it is if I do it from the back. Why can't he just look at me? _All Dean could do was stare at Cas's perfectly shaped lips and disheveled hair. And all Cas could do was be engrossed by the movie.

"Dean, are you going to watch the movie?" Cas pressed the pause button.

Embarrassed, Dean looked down at the floor.

"Or are you just going to continue to stare at me?" Cas laughed.

Dean cleared his throat, "I thought maybe we could do a bit more than watch the movie?" He nervously chuckled.

"Like this?" Cas leaned over to Dean and pushed his lips on to Dean's. Soon, Dean was tasting the all too familiar sweet taste of Cas. He unintentionally let a moan out.

Cas pulled back. "Can we watch the movie now?" He gave Dean the puppy dog eyes.

"Only if you lay in my lap and let me play with your hair?"

"Deal." Cas laid out on the couch and placed his head on Dean's lap. Dean pressed the play button and began twisting his fingers through the dark, tousled locks.

When the movie was over Cas turned onto his back to look at Dean. "I like it when you play with my hair."

"Well, good because I _love_ to play with your hair." Dean smiled and pushed his fingers through the front of Cas's hair. Dean had never felt so comfortable with another person before. And boy was he more than comfortable with playing with his hair.

"You know what I like more?"

"What?"

"Feeling your face on my face."

"Smooth, Cas, smooth." Dean leaned down and again they began right where they left off.

* * *

Cas was walking to the Police Department after he had been called in for a case. He didn't want to drive, because it was one of those perfect weather Long Beach days. The sun wasn't beating down and there was no cloud in the sky. Besides, he decided he needed the fresh air.

He was a few blocks into his walk when he came upon his old apartment building. The one he spent two years out of college in. The same one that he and Dean would spend countless nights watching all of Dean's favorite movies. The memory of the feeling of Dean's fingers intertwined with his hair sent a chill down him. He ached just at the thought of Dean's touch. _No, I can't do this to myself. I want to start a family, he doesn't. We're just two completely different people from back then. _Cas pulled his eyes away from the apartment and kept walking.

**A/N: I don't know why, but I quite enjoyed writing this chapter haha Hope you lovelies enjoyed it as well! Again, reviews/constructed criticism would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!**


	5. Lonely Boy

Dean was sitting in his and Cas's living room with the massive speakers emitting his thunderous music. He sat contemplating his promise to Cas to always protect him. He failed him. Cas finally broke down his walls to let Dean in and years later Dean would use that against him. To win an argument. Cas had put all his trust in Dean and Dean turned it against him to win a stupid argument. Why couldn't he just keep his mouth shut? Why couldn't he just tell Cas he wanted to have kids with him? Would it have been that bad to have kids with him? No, it wouldn't. It was exactly what Dean wanted. Why did he react that way? Was he the broken one? No, he wasn't. He was the selfish jerk who was supposed to protect Cas. He was supposed to give Cas everything he wanted. A familiar song came on and it brought Dean back to the night the "l" word had finally slipped out.

* * *

Tonight was the first time Dean was inviting Cas over to his house. He didn't really trust people coming into his house, but Cas was different. It had been a couple months since their first kiss and they were having fun. They had already seen 14 movies together, gone to 8 dinners, and kissed several hundreds of times. Dean was falling for Cas, and Cas had already fallen for Dean. It took a bit of time for Dean to adjust to being with a male and being in a committed relationship. He wasn't afraid to admit his feelings for Cas, though. The feelings were too strong. Cas was something new to Dean. Cas was special to Dean. He had no idea where he went from thinking of Cas as just a friend to thinking of Cas as his true love. Maybe he had never thought of Cas as just as a friend. Cas made him feel totally comfortable. He made things easy for Dean. This dinner was Dean's way of showing Cas how much he appreciated him.

Dean was pulling the chicken out of the oven when he heard a knock at the door. He jogged through the small apartment over to the front door. "Cas!" He greeted him with a peck on the lips.

"I brought dessert." Cas displayed a white box to him.

"Pie?" Dean smiled, hopeful.

"What else would it be?" The corners of Cas's mouth turned up at seeing Dean so delightful.

Dean led Cas over to the table he had set up with an actual tablecloth and candles. It was not a usual thing for Dean. In fact it was a never actually happened thing for Dean. He made a mental note to thank Clara again for letting him borrow the tablecloth and candles.

"Your apartment is really nice." Cas looked around to see a large TV and accompanying gigantic speakers. The place was very open; the living room and kitchen could be completely seen from the dining room. The décor was a bit bachelor like, but Cas assured himself he could change that a bit, later. He smiled to himself with the thought of living with Dean.

"Thanks. Here, let me take your coat." Dean pulled the beige coat off of Cas's shoulders, leaning in to leave a kiss on his neck.

Cas sat down in one of the two chairs, while Dean draped the coat over the sofa.

"Should we dig in?" Dean pulled out the second chair and took a seat.

Cas nodded and reached for the mashed potatoes.

For a few minutes they just sat and ate. The candle light flickered between the two allowing for both of them to steal glances at each other. Dean appreciating Cas's hair and puffy lips. Cas appreciating Dean's strong face and scruffy stubble.

"This is really delicious, Dean. Thanks for making it." Cas reached his hand over the table, with his palm up. Dean simpered and slid his hand into Cas's.

"Cas, I just wanted to say how much I'm thankful for you. I know it must be hard to deal with me. I just…its kind of difficult going from sleeping with chicks every other night to being exclusive with a _guy_. I know its not any easy being with me. I just I appreciate that you've stuck with me." Dean smiled up at Cas.

"It hasn't been all that easy for me, either. Everyone just presumed I was asexual or something. It's just hard for me to…open up to people. You're something special, Dean Winchester." Maybe that was made their relationship easy; they were both new at this.

"I don't mean to pry, but if we're going to be 100% honest with each other. I feel like sometimes I divulge too much, but you stop short. You just stop short enough to not let me in. Who hurt you so badly that you find it so difficult to trust someone?" Cas's hand impulsively squeezed Dean's hand harder. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. Should we start on the dessert?" Dean tried to change the subject. _Why did I have to bring it up in the first place? Cas has been nothing but good to me. So what if he doesn't always over share like I do?_

"No. I've been meaning to tell you. I just didn't know when would be appropriate. Or even how to tell you." Cas took a deep breath. "When I was younger there were issues in my family. I didn't get along with my parents per se. They…" He swallowed hard and Dean held his hand tighter in response. "They took their aggression out on me." Cas's eyes wandered everywhere, but towards Dean's face. "Its kind of hard to trust people, after the people who are supposed to protect you treat you like a punching bag."

"Ah, Cas." Dean got up and wrapped his arms around Cas and they just kind of sat like that for a few minutes. For some reason, Dean felt if he just kept Cas in his arms, nothing could hurt him. How could anyone hurt his Cas? "You know I'll never hurt you, right?" Cas looked up into his genuine green eyes.

"I know."

"Last week I texted Clara from Sam's phone saying 'I love you.' I had to be a catalyst for their relationship. God knows Sam wasn't about to take the initiative."

Cas crooked his head and squinted his eyes at Dean, "What?"

"You revealed something, so I felt I had to reveal something."

Cas laughed, "Thanks for confiding in me. Those two really do need to get their shit together."

"So, what do you say about going to the bar for a quick drink?" Cas was relieved for the opportunity to leave the tension filled room.

"Karaoke night, huh? Cas, you should get that cute ass of yours up there and serenade me." Dean slapped Cas's bum, as he followed him into the bar.

"I'll do it if you do it." Cas turned around to flash a smile at Dean.

"Okay, but I get to pick the music."

"Dean, you would really do that?" Cas wasn't convinced Dean would actually get onto a stage in front of a full bar and sing.

"Get a couple beers in me and anything can happen." The two sat at a table with two stools.

"Hey, what can I get you two cuties?" A waitress walked up with a notepad in hand.

"Uh, two Arrogant Bastards, please." Dean reveled in ordering for Cas.

"Okay, so now I'm extremely curious as to what song?"

"You'll see." Dean flashed that mischievous smile again.

And sure enough after a couple drinks Dean was now standing in front of the crowd with Cas at his side. The familiar guitar strums and then drums started.

Dean aggressively grabbed the mic and turned towards Cas with his eyes open wide, "Rising up, back on the street, did my time, took my chances." Dean turned towards the crowd and popped his collar up, "Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet, just a man and his will to survive."

Cas grabbed his mic and peered over at Dean, determined to one up him. He whipped his coat back in a Michael Jackson sort of way, all badass like. "So many times it happens too fast, you change your passion for glory." Cas put the mic back into the mic stand and started leaning increasingly forward with each word he sang, "Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past, you must fight just to keep them alive."

Dean thrust his fingers in front of his eyes, both of them bobbing their heads with the music, "It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight, rising up to the challenge our rival." They both grabbed their mics and faced towards each other, "And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night, and he's watching us all with the eyyyyeee of the tiger."

The audience in the bar clapped and whooped. Some even whistling.

"Castiel Novak, I love you." Dean, with his forehead now on Cas's, said panting into the mic.

A breathless Cas responded with an, "I love you, too." His quieter, without the aid of the presence of the mic that was now sitting on the floor. They stood there for a bit, their foreheads pressed against each other, their smiles mirroring each other, and their breath mixing in the air in front of them.

* * *

This was Cas's third present this week. He was lying on the couch in Sam and Clara's apartment, with headphones in his ears. Earlier, an iPod had been dropped off with a single song on it, "Eye of the Tiger." Since then Cas had just been laying, listening to the song on repeat, replaying Dean's "Castiel Novak, I love you," in his head over and over. His first "I love you." Castiel had so desperately wanted to be wrapped back in Dean's embrace, but wasn't sure he could handle it. He needed this time to figure out what he wanted and whether or not that included Dean. The presents weren't helping in the slightest.

**A/N: I was doing GHISWHES all week, so I had nothing to update but I'll post the next chapter like in a couple hours? :)haha The title basically has nothing to do with this chapter I was just listening to it. I guess I related it to the characters...**


	6. Kickstart My Heart

After the second week of being apart from Cas, Dean was starting to lose it. He was running on three hours of sleep and a few pieces of food here and there, everyday. He was having trouble even going to work. So, thankfully with the few vacation days he had, he took them. His past few days consisted of downing several beers and watching TV. Today, he figured he would try something different. He hopped into his Impala and put his favorite CD in. He blasted the music and drove all over Long Beach, passing the school, passing downtown, passing the beach. He had no intended destination. He came to a red light and peered over at the leather of the passenger seat. He suddenly felt very alone in the car.

* * *

"Dean, just let me pick one song." Cas was pleading with Dean after having listened to AC/DC the past two hours.

"No, driver picks the music-"

"Shotgun shuts his cake hole." Cas rolled his eyes. There was absolutely no way he could convince Dean to change the music. So he reluctantly accepted the fate of having to listen to AC/DC the rest of the trip.

Cas reached over to Dean's right hand and pulled it onto his lap. Dean expertly made a left hand turn with only his palm on the wheel.

"Do you realize how hot you look doing that?" Cas began rubbing circles in Dean's palm, while continuing his admiring of Dean.

Dean chuckled, "Well, be prepared, we've still got another hour drive and countless turns until we get to the diner. And I have no intention of giving up my other hand. That feels too damn good."

Cas smiled, and began massaging Dean's wrist. "So, Dean Winchester. I know you love playing with my hair and when I rub your palm. But what else do you love about me?" Cas snickered. Even days after, he was still on the high caused by Dean telling him he loved him.

"Well, I love that you're so selfless. You put what others needs before yourself. Okay, your turn. What do you love about me?" Dean turned his head to shoot Cas one of his famous dazzling smiles.

"I love how protective you are. You are willing to do anything for the people you love. Sam, Clara, me."

"Hmm. You know what I really love about you?" Dean teased.

"What?"

"Your eyes. They're not just blue, they like _glow_ blue. I mean your eyes are like orbs of blue. Do you even have pupils? And your hair doesn't even help. I mean come on do you have to have amazing blue eyes and then the sexy, dark, messy hair too?"

Cas laughed, "You know what _I_ really love about you? Your ass. I mean staring at it when you bend over is one thing, but being able to have a firm grasp on it. Whew. I'm fairly certain your ass will be the death of me."

Dean raised an eyebrow at the thought of Cas's hand on his ass.

Shortly after they had finally arrived at the famous diner of bacon cheeseburgers they both had planned on taking a drive up to. A three-hour drive and about a thousand ooey gooey looks at each other later they were finally pulling into the parking lot.

When they walked in _Back in the Saddle_ was playing over the speakers. "I like this place already." Dean grinned.

The waitress gave them a booth next to a window. The place definitely had that authentic diner feel. Dean was pretty sure the booths were the originals from when it opened in the 50's.

"These burgers better be worth it." Cas said eyeing a suspicious looking man at the counter.

Dean looked at the menu searching for the bacon filled burgers. He felt a foot slide in between his feet and another foot on his left, trapping his left foot. He looked up at Cas whose eyes were darting around the room. Dean inspected the room. There were two lone guys at the counter. One of them was a short sharp dressed man in black. The other was approximately the size of two Deans, and Dean was no small man. There was a family in one booth. The rest of the diner was vacant. So, they weren't in the best neighborhood, but Cas shouldn't be so freaked out.

"Cas, its okay." Cas snapped back into consciousness and looked at Dean.

"I'm fine." The worry in his face said otherwise.

"Maybe a road trip wasn't the best idea. We can go if you want." Dean said, getting ready to leave.

"No, I'm fine, Dean. It's just strange not being in Long Beach. That's all." Had Cas ever even left Long Beach? Dean slid his hand across the table and offered it to Cas. Cas, appreciatively took it. Dean could see the tenseness leave Cas. Dean seemed to have that affect on Cas.

"I love that you have no sense of personal space. I don't like being too far from you." Dean admitted, trying to take Cas's mind off being in an unfamiliar place.

"Well, that was…random." Cas gave a confused look.

"It was my turn." Dean explained.

"Oh. Well, that means it's my turn then." He gave a pensive look. "I love your dimples when you purse your lips. It's…cute. It just adds to your ruggedly handsome face."

"I like this game." Dean smiled, smugly.

The waitress finally brought over the cheeseburgers.

Disregarding the obvious rules, Cas continued, "And…" He twitched his head in a thoughtful manner, and then looked up at Dean. "Your car."

Dean raised his eyebrows up and opened his mouth slightly, "My car?"

"I mean, its smooth seats." His eyes wondered to the side of him. "I feel it would be intriguing to have…fun in the car." His eyes again met Dean's. Dean dropped his burger onto the plate.

"You finished?" Dean pulled his wallet out and grabbed a few dollars to drop on the table.

"Um, I guess." Cas looked down at the half eaten burger.

"Come on." Dean grabbed Cas's arm and they made their way out of the restaurant.

Dean opened the Impala door and motioned for Cas to get in. He slid in after Cas.

"Are we going home already? I thought you were excited for the burgers?" Cas reached for the seat belt.

"No, you cute little dope." Dean reached his arm over Cas's waist and pulled him close. _Hmm, smooth seats are helpful._ He turned his head to face Cas and went straight for Cas's lips.

"Oh." Cas said, pulling away. He pushed Dean's shoulders back on the seat and awkwardly maneuvered his body on top of Dean's in the tiny front seat, straddling him. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas's midsection. Placing his hands securely on Dean's face, Cas had some "fun."

The two didn't go too far. They were both new at this and weren't quite prepared to go full on in the Impala in a parking lot.

* * *

After a three-hour drive, Dean found himself in the parking lot of the diner. He sat in the silent vehicle staring at the diner. The absence of Cas on top of him drowned Dean in his loneliness.

The doorbell rang and when Cas looked through the peephole and saw no one his stomach clenched. _Another present._ He opened the door and picked up a single napkin. He recognized the name of the diner. Cas stared at the letters and remembered the feel of the Impala on his palms when he steadied himself sitting on Dean. He remembered the smoky taste of Dean's tongue from the bacon. He remembered just wanting to rip all of Dean's clothes off, but knowing they could clearly be seen through the windows of the car.

Cas slowly closed the door and decided a cold shower would be best at the moment.


	7. You Shook Me All Night Long

Dean was attempting to sleep in the large bed. It was difficult without Cas by his side. The past few nights since Cas left he just flopped around in the sheets for a few hours before finally falling asleep, granted for only three or four hours. Tonight, he decided to stop fighting the inevitably of the inability to sleep. He turned to lay on his back and stared at the popcorn ceiling. He slid his arm under the pillow on his right side; the cool pillow on top of his arm brought back a rather exciting memory.

* * *

"Dean, this is probably the twentieth time I've come over and we've just slept." Cas was lying propped up on his elbow facing Dean on the bed.

"And?" Dean turned from his back to his side to face Cas.

"Well, why don't we try something different?"

"Like what?" Dean's brows furrowed. He knew what was coming.

"You know." Cas slid his hand onto Dean's face and kissed him.

"I'm not sure I'm ready for that, Cas." Dean grimaced and pulled Cas's hand away from his face. He, the "sex antics" one, was not ready?

"Can I at least see you naked?" Cas gave Dean puppy dog eyes. They had been together for four months and they'd only ever slept together in the same bed, completely clothed.

"You first." Dean pursed his lips. Cas rolled his eyes, but slid out of his shirt and pajama pants.

"Your turn." Cas went in for the kill and pulled Dean's shirt off. He slowly moved his fingers over Dean's chest. Why was he so chiseled? His hand moved down his abs and finally to his pants. He slowly removed them, but not before gently swiping his hand over a particular private, hard area. "I thought you said you weren't ready?" Cas smirked at Dean.

"I think I'm gunna go take a quick shower. I mean I probably stink. I was running around all day, got all sweaty." Dean's gaze did not leave Cas's as he slowly got up.

"Nope." Cas pushed his shoulders down, causing Dean to fall back on the pillows.

"Well, damn, Cas." Dean could feel his face sweating now. Why did Cas have to go all macho man and make Dean all hot?

Cas straddled Dean and pushed his wrists gently down on the pillow. No way was he gunna let Dean go now. He started with Dean's forehead and then moved his kisses lower. When he reached his lips, Dean's head moved forward to lean more into the kiss. Then Cas started going lower, planting kisses all along Dean's neck. Dean craned his neck, giving Cas access to a long lick. He made his way to his chest. Kissing every available part on his smooth body.

"Okay, Cas. I get it." Dean was very bothered by now. Cas had no intention of stopping. "Okay, Cas. Just do it already."

"Do what?"

"You know."

"I was hoping you would." Cas sighed and slumped down onto Dean's chest, giving up.

Well great the moment was ruined.

"So, we've got a virgin and a guy who's never done it with a guy before." Dean said. They had adjusted themselves and were now sitting upright side by side.

"Do you trust me, Dean?" Cas was staring straight ahead of him.

"Of course I trust you."

"Do you trust me to…please you?"

Dean's eyebrows furrowed. "Wait, what. Whoa. No. I am not going to be the bottom." Dean stabbed the air with his hand in a pointedly manner. Oh great, more tough guy Dean Winchester.

"Who told you I would let you be top?" Cas had figured out over the past couple weeks that when he was commanding Dean got very "excited." He hoped this would work.

Dean snapped his head at Cas. Cas took a peak down south. It was working.

"I have no intention of letting you. It's either this way or no way…Hold on." Cas rolled off the bed and out of the door.

"Ah, where are you going?"

Cas ran back into the room and jumped onto the bed with a can of whip cream.

"Son of a bitch." The only words Dean could say at the sight. He was going to have to totally give in to Cas's plea.

Cas sprayed a bit on his finger and licked it off. "Would you like some?"

"Yes."

"Hmm, I don't know." Cas sprayed more on his finger and came closer to Dean.

"Okay fine do what you want with me."

"Hmm, that didn't sound very romantic." Cas waved the whip cream coated finger around.

"Okay, Cas, I trust you to…please me." He lunged his mouth at the finger, licking every last bit of whip cream off.

Dean's heart started racing, but he knew he could trust Cas not to hurt him. A few seconds later, he was panting in pleasure. _Well damn how was this virgin so good at this? _

Then in an instant both were brought to euphoria.

They lay next to each other still reeling. In the silence of just enjoying being next to each other Cas chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Dean suddenly became very self-conscious.

"I was just remembering the first joke I heard you tell. Albeit it was not a funny joke."

Dean laughed and buried his face into the pillow.

The morning after Dean woke up with his right arm under a cool pillow. The space was empty. "Cas?"

"I made some pancakes. Thought you might be hungry." Cas walked in with a pile of pancakes and maple syrup on a tray. He was donned in only Dean's pajama pants. His own were lying at the foot of the bed.

"Mmm." Cas sat down next to Dean and set the tray down.

"Are those my pants?" Dean said, pouring syrup on a pancake.

"Yes. They're much more comfortable than mine." Cas wore a small smile.

"Come here." Dean grabbed Cas's waist and pushed the tray down to the end of the bed with his foot. He pulled them down so they were lying vertical. He wrapped his other arm around Cas's waist, and nuzzled his head into his neck, breathing in his sweet scent. "I could lay like this all day."

"Why don't we?" Cas buried himself farther into Dean.

* * *

Cas heard a knock on the door and opened to see no one, again. He looked down to find a can of whipped cream. The blood immediately pulling into his face…and other places. He looked around and picked up the can and closed the door. Dean snickered from behind the bush.


	8. Hot For Teacher

Dean was walking down to the grocery store when he came across a small bakery. He peered in to see what tasty treats they had. He saw cakes, cookies, and pie. _Mmm, pie. _He didn't feel like pie, though, which was strange for Dean. So, he kept on walking.

* * *

"Cas, I don't think I've ever baked anything before. Not sure how much help I'll be."

"Well, if you help me, I'll promise something special for you later." He looked keenly at Dean.

"Fine." Dean rolled his eyes, but took Cas in his arms.

Cas had an array of ingredients set up on the counter. It was Clara's birthday, so they both decided to make her crème brûlée. It had been a whole year since they had first met, so they decided to make a pie as well to celebrate.

"You have to wear this." Cas held up a floral apron.

"No." Dean said sternly.

"I am not washing that shirt after you get flour all over it."

"How come you get the cool blue one?"

"Because I know what I'm doing." Dean looked with puppy dog eyes, something he learned from Cas.

"Okay, fine." Cas pulled the blue apron off and traded with Dean.

"Wait, we need something first." Dean walked over to the stereo on the counter, because music in the kitchen is absolutely necessary. He pressed play and "Pour Some Sugar On Me" started playing.

"Okay, teacher, teach me something." Cas smiled, for the first time he was teaching _Dean_ something.

"Okay, so I guess we'll do the pie first. Here, fill this up with flour." He handed Dean a large measuring cup. He then started filling his own measuring cup up.

They finally had all the ingredients together in the bowl. "So, this might be a bit tough. I may need help stirring it." Cas said, suggestively.

"No, problem." Dean stood behind Cas and wrapped his arms around him. Cas felt Dean's warmth surround him. Dean placed his hands on top of Cas's on the wooden spoon. They both stood, slowly mixing the ingredients; each stir causing them to sway with each other.

"You smell delicious." Dean said, planting a kiss on Cas's neck. Cas craned his neck and Dean continued kissing every available spot on Cas's neck.

"Okay, all done. Now the filling."

"Aw, I was enjoying mixing." Dean released Cas's hand.

"Well here try this." Cas dipped his finger in the bowl and held it out for Dean.

"Mmm, cherry." Dean dipped his finger in the bowl and smeared the filling onto Cas's nose. "Whoops, I missed your mouth."

"Dean, my nose is a good inch away from my mouth. How did you miss it?" He reached over to grab a towel; Dean's hand stopped him.

"No, it was my fault I have to clean it up." Dean leaned in and licked the red cherry filling off of Cas's nose. "Yum."

Cas smiled and slowly poured the filling into the pie. He set it in the oven and prepared to make the crème brûlée.

"Next the crème brûlée." Cas's eyes lit up as he grabbed another spoon. He really did enjoy baking.

Dean sat in a stool, next to Cas. He was watching him make the crème brûlée. Cas was describing each step of what he did. Dean hung onto every word.

"So, now the final step." Cas turned on the torch, a small flame shooting out. Dean's eyes went wide as he watched Cas set the fire to the dessert.

"All finished." Cas smiled gleefully at the pie and crème brûléesitting on the counter.

"Can we eat the pie now?" Cas was already cutting up a slice for Dean.

"I like baking with you, Cas." Dean said, taking a bit of the pie.

* * *

Dean found himself in his kitchen making a crème brûlée. He had no idea what possessed him to buy all the ingredients at the grocery store. Soon, the dessert was made and Dean was on his way to Sam and Clara's.

"Hey, Sammy." Sam opened the door to see his brother standing with a Tupperware container in hand. Dean pushed past his brother into the apartment. He looked around the rooms.

"He's not here, Dean." Sam said, leading Dean into the kitchen.

"Oh." Dean said, disappoint flooding his eyes. Three weeks and Cas still hadn't spoken with him. "Well, I'm just here to have a beer with my little brother." Dean took the bottle Sam handed to him. He set the Tupperware on the counter.

"What is that?"

"Nothing. Do you have like a nice looking plate?" Sam raised his eyebrow, but went to the cupboards to search for a plate. He found a white one that Clara only used for special occasions.

"Thanks." Dean opened the container and placed the crème brûléeonto the plate.

"So, Cas should be back soon. He went for a jog." Sam was waiting for Dean to spill his feelings.

Dean's eyes lit up. "Oh." He took a sip.

The front door creaked open. Dean immediately perked up.

"Hey, Sam, is there any cake left? I am in dire need of some sugar." Cas shouted from the hall. Dean's stomach churned at the sound of his smooth voice.

"Um, actually." Sam looked down at Dean's plate.

"Uh." Cas walked into the kitchen and immediately came to a halt, as if he hit a brick wall. He couldn't help but smile at Dean. Three weeks was far too long.

"Hey, Cas." Dean said, walking on eggshells. He couldn't help but admire Cas's gleam from the sweat from his jog. Did he have to look so sexy after a jog?

"Hey, Dean."

"Dean, brought over some sort of dessert looking thing." Sam said, trying to diffuse the awkwardness.

Cas peered down at the plate. "Crème brûlée." Cas took a fork and dug in, avoiding both Sam and Dean's eyes. "Delicious." He moaned.

"Well, I learned from the best." Dean said, smiling down at Cas.

"I'm gunna go talk to my wife." Sam said, and left the kitchen. Of course, he and Clara would go and just whisper about Dean and Cas and perhaps try to sneak a peek at the kitchen.

"So, Dean. I guess it's about time we talked." Cas looked up from the dessert. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too. So, how bout you come back home?" Dean said, a bit enthusiastically.

"I'm thinking about adoption, Dean. It could be possible to have a baby in my arms within the next couple years. I think I'm going to do it."

Dean looked down. "I don't know if I'm entirely ready for a child, Cas. Not right now at least."

"I know you don't want to adopt. And that's fine. It's just not what I want. I think maybe our time is just up. We want completely different things now." Dean stood still. Did Cas always have to be so blunt? "I can get an apartment. I'm getting a raise soon; I'll have enough money to support a child and me. I think it's entirely possible for me to raise a child on my own. And I think I want that." _So, Cas has been thinking about leaving me._

Dean couldn't hide the hurt in his eyes. "I want to have kids, Cas. Just right now, all I want is you."

"I know, but by the time you even come around to the idea we'll have to wait even longer. I just have this ache to be a father, now. I love you, Dean. But the idea of being a father scares you. I don't want to be the person who forces you to become a father. But I also don't want to be the person who waits years for something that may not even happen."

Dean thought about it. He really wasn't ready to have kids just yet. But he didn't want to have Cas resent him for that. Maybe it was best if they did just go their separate ways.

"Well, I better go. I'm working tonight." Dean stood up and walked out of the apartment_. This was a bad idea._

**_A/N: Thought I'd add a bit more insight on the situation, hopefully it did add more insight haha. I know it seems like I'm posting this all at once, but basically i am. haha I finished it, but I'm going to start school next week, so idk when I'll be able to post. I might adjust or completely change some of the later chapters, but idk. Does anyone like the way its going? haha Anyways, thank you for all the lovely reviews, follows, favorites! Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading and have a fabulous day, lovely! :)_**


	9. Love Will Keep Us Together

The next day, Dean was going out to see a movie with his friend, Garth. Garth was determined to make Dean feel better. What better way than with the most recent Kick Ass movie?

"Hey, Dean." Garth came in for a hug.

"Garth, I don't think a movie is really gunna make me feel any better." Dean was depressed thinking of the idea of leaving Cas. He really didn't want to sit in a theater full of people, to pretend to enjoy a movie.

"Of course it will, homeslice." Garth slapped him on the back, his face wore a sympathetic smile. They walked up to the cashier to get two tickets.

They made their way into a large theater and took two seats in the front.

* * *

"Dean, they're showing Hot Fuzz at the theater. We should go see it." Cas was staring at his laptop on the movie ticket website, while Dean was watching the game. Cas was a big ball of nerves all day; maybe it would do him some good to go see a movie.

"Sure." Dean agreed.

Dean drove, and the entire way there, Cas kept rubbing his hands up and down his thighs. A nervous tick.

"What's wrong, Cas?" Dean peered down at his lap.

"I don't…know." He turned his head to look out the side window. He held his hands together, to keep them still. Dean pulled into the parking lot and they made their way into the theater.

They got their tickets and walked into a rather small, dark theater.

"In the front?" Cas asked, his whole body vibrating from nerves. He sat down in the middle.

"Are you sure you're okay, Cas?" Dean sat down next to Cas, with a worried expression.

"Yeah, I just didn't get my run in this morning." That's strange, Dean remembered Cas leaving early in the morning in his running clothes.

Dean took Cas's hand in his. He could see relief flash across Cas's face. So, he pushed up the armrest and put his arm around Cas. Cas melted into him.

The lights dimmed, "In a world where love didn't seem to exist." A preview was starting, probably for some sappy romcom. "These two found each other." Wait a minute is that Dean and Cas?

Dean looked over at Cas who was staring at Dean with nervous eyes. Dean furrowed his eyebrows and turned his attention back to the big screen.

There were pictures and video of the two of them together. Them at Sam and Clara's wedding. Them at the bowling alley. Them at Fourth of July.

"But now, the blue eyed one has an important question." The dramatic voice spoke throughout the theater. Dean turned to see Cas kneeling in front of him.

"Dean, I've loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you at that party. My love has grown with each passing day, each kiss, each glance, and each breath. Dean Winchester, will you marry me?"

Dean didn't even care how sappy that sounded. His smile was from ear to ear. "Yes." He said, as if it was an obvious answer. He held Cas's face in his hands and they kissed for what seemed like a century.

"WOOO!" The entire movie theater audience went crazy.

"Yay, looks like big brother's getting married." Dean turned to see Sam in the seat behind him.

"Sam?" Next to him was Clara, who was in tears. He looked around the theater; it was all his family and friends.

"Congrats Dean." Dean was pulled into a hug from his mom.

"Congrats, son." A handshake from his father. Soon, people were mobbing him and giving him hugs.

Dean frantically looked around for his fiancé. "Cas?"

"Right here." Dean turned to see Cas standing behind him.

"Come here." The smile not fading from Dean's face, he pulled Cas into a hug and just held him.

When he finally released him, the two went around the theater to say hi to everyone.

"Were you surprised?" Clara asked.

"Yeah. I had no idea."

"I didn't catch you off guard did I?" Cas looked a bit guiltily at Dean.

"It was perfect Cas." He kissed him on the forehead. "I can't believe we're engaged." Dean breathed, grinning down at the ring on his finger.

* * *

Dean left the movie feeling worse than before. All he could think about was the night Cas proposed. He was so elated. He couldn't stop smiling for a week straight. He even slept with a smile on his face. How could he even possibly think of giving them up?


	10. With or Without You

"Sam, I got this." Dean said, reassuringly to Sam. Clara wanted a night alone with Sam, so Dean agreed to watch over their five year old, David.

"I know. And I know you're really great with him and nothings gunna happen. Its just, its his first time being away from home over night." Sam huffed. He was tightening the car seat in the back of the Impala.

"Its gunna be great. We're gunna eat ice cream and watch a bunch of movies. Right, Davie?" Dean picked up David and rested him on his hip.

"Yep." David was eagerly licking a lollipop, oblivious to what was actually going on.

"Say bye to your daddy." Dean handed David off to Sam.

"You're going to call me later, right?" Sam said to David.

"Yep."

"Alright, I love you. Have fun." Sam hugged David and set him in the car seat.

"Love you, too, Daddy." David fidgeted in his car seat, but smiled big at Sam.

"_You_ have fun." Dean got into the driver's seat and waved to Sam, "Bye Sammy."

He pulled away from the apartment building.

"Okay. First stop, the park."

Dean and David had a weekly ritual; every Thursday he would come by and pick up David and they would drive over to the park. Dean would innocently sit on a bench by himself and watch over David, and women would constantly throw themselves at him. The few times Cas tagged along, they seemed to suddenly have an aversion to Dean. He enjoyed just sitting on the bench and watching David make new friends or have David come running up telling Dean of his proud accomplishment of making it all the way across the monkey bars.

Dean unbuckled David and let him run out of the car to the jungle gym.

"Uncle Dean, play with me!" A few minutes later, David was tugging Dean's arm. Dean got up from the bench, being pulled to the swing set by David.

After David got bored of Dean pushing him, he made Dean sit in the swing next to him. David laid on his stomach and attempted to do a superman type move on the swing, he instructed Dean to do the same.

"So, David, can I ask you a question?"

"Yep." He kicked his feet pointlessly in the air.

"What would you think if you had a cousin?"

"A cousin?"

"Yeah, if me and Cas gave you a cousin."

"Would they be my friend?"

"Yeah, they'd be your friend." Dean kicked his feet farther into the woodchips to keep his body up.

"Then, yes. You and Cas should make a cousin." His feet didn't reach the woodchips, so he just stayed motionless in the air.

"How about a few years from now?" Like that was even an option for Dean.

"No, now."

"Now?"

"You love Uncle Cassie. Uncle Cassie loves you. You need a baby, now."

"You're pretty smart for a five year old." Dean said, watching David focus on trying to move. He reached over and pulled the chain, causing the swing to move forward.

"Wheee." David stuck his arms out like Superman.

Dean laughed. Why was he so scared to have kids? David was adorable, funny, and smart. Dean looked forward to every Thursday with David. He really did want kids with Cas. He loved Cas and he loved the idea of having kids with Cas. He smiled at the thought of a sleepy Cas asking him to go change the baby's diaper. And Dean would because he would love the baby with his entire being and would be willing to do anything for it. He pictured two small baby girls. Their footsteps and giggles filling the house with noise. Cas teaching them to bake. Dean taking them paintballing. In that moment all he wanted was to hold a baby in his arms with Cas at his side.

"Uncle Dean?" Dean snapped back to reality.

"Yeah?"

"Are we going for ice cream?"

"Yeah."

Dean took one last look at the forest behind the park. It was vacant and empty. They walked back to the Impala and drove to the ice cream shop.

* * *

"You nervous?" Sam was adjusting Dean's tie.

"Nope." Dean was smiling, he was vibrating with excitement. He was going to finally marry Cas. "This is exactly what I want."

"Nervous?" Clara was pushing her fingers through Cas's hair, making it even messier but in an intentional way.

"Kind of." Cas rubbed his neck.

"You guys are perfect for each other. I bet you Dean's in the other room, bursting with eagerness to marry you."

"What if he realizes he doesn't want to marry me? What if he doesn't want me?" Cas's eyes couldn't focus on one thing.

"Cas, calm down. When you walk out there and see Dean waiting for you, everything will fall into place."

"Was that what it was like when you married Sam?"

"Yeah, well. When I saw him, it was like everything else disappeared. He was the only thing. It was so clear that he was the love of my life."

"Hmm." Cas pulled his tie tight.

Cas made his way down the aisle. He saw a smiling Dean at the end. Suddenly everything just felt right.

"Hey, Cas." Dean whispered through his huge grin, as soon as Cas stood next to Dean.

Tears came into Cas's vision as he stared at the smiling Dean. He had to wipe his eyes. He couldn't have blurry vision; he had to take in every bit of Dean.

He didn't even notice that they were in a forest surrounded by trees. He didn't notice the beautiful arbor covered in flowers and twigs. He didn't notice the fifty people looking at them. He didn't notice the lights strung up throughout the trees. He only saw Dean.

_Stop smiling like a dummy. _Dean could not stop smiling. He couldn't wait to marry Cas. _Can't we just get to the "I do" part? Keep it together, Winchester. Is he crying? Aw, Cas. Oh, the vows._

"I promise to always protect you, love you, and adore you. I promise to be there whenever you need me, to support you through whatever, and to always have a can of whip cream." Short and sweet right?

"Dean, I promise to love you forever and always. I promise to put all my trust in you. And, I promise to keep my hair at the perfect length for you to run your fingers through it."

_Aw crap, here come the tears. I can't believe I'm marrying Cas. _

After a few words that Cas and Dean were completely ignoring, Dean grabbed Cas's hands. "I do." _Finally. It feels so good to say that. _Dean had tears lining his eyes, but a huge smile spread across his face.

"I do." _Ah, it feels so good to hear Cas say that. _

They kissed and everyone went wild. Whistles, claps, and few "whoops".

"So, how does it feel to be my husband?" Dean and Cas were sitting at a long table in the front of the reception hall. Their two chairs were pushed together as close as possible, causing an awkward gap between them and Sam and Clara on their sides.

"It feels amazing. I get a thrill just hearing you say 'my husband.'" Cas said, holding Dean's right hand and looking into Dean's bright green eyes. He crinkled his nose into a smile at Dean. "How does it feel to be _my_ husband?"

"Absolutely incredible. I couldn't ask for anything better." They both gave up trying to eat their dinners. They were both too ecstatic.

"Toast time." Sam whispered to Dean.

Sam cleared his throat and grabbed the mic from the DJ. "Hi, everyone! I just wanted to make a toast for my brother and his lovely new husband. I want to start by saying I have never, in all my life, seen my brother happier than when he's with Cas. I never thought I would even see Dean get married, and here we are." He laughed. "Cas you have been amazing to my brother. You two are a spectacular couple and I wish you many, many happy years together." Sam handed the mic to Clara.

"That was so sweet, baby." She grabbed his handkerchief out of his pocket. "I'm gunna need this. Cas, you've been my best friend for years now. I know things were a bit rough, but I'm glad you found Dean. Or rather I made you guys find each other. I remember setting you two up, without Dean's approval. But then I remember him being so happy I did, so you're welcome Dean. I don't want to take credit for your relationship, but I do have a knack at realizing when two people are meant for each other. And you two are." Her eyes started tearing up. "You both complete each other. I love you both so much, and I hope- No, I know you two will enjoy the rest of your lives together." She put the mic down before she started crying into Sam's shoulder.

"It's the hormones." Sam whispered to Dean, wrapping Clara up in his arms.

Dean laughed. "Welcome to the Jungle" started playing. "You wanna go dance?" Dean said to Cas.

"Of course." Cas got up and followed Dean to the dance floor. Their hands never separating.

Cas loosened up his tie and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. Dean couldn't wait for everything else to come off, but for now he was enjoying being around friends and family showing off his new husband.

After about an hour of dancing, Cas and Dean were sweaty and tired.

"Now its time for the cake. Can the newly married couple meet at the front?" The DJ said over the speakers.

Cas and Dean made their way over to a large buffet table full of different desserts. In the middle sat a three-tier cake holder holding different pies, their "wedding cake." Cas and Dean made the first cut in the cherry pie.

"You got a little something on your nose, Dean." Cas wiped the pie filling onto Dean's nose.

"Hey," Dean went cross-eyed looking at the pie on his face.

"I better get that off for you." Cas reached up and licked it off. "Mmm, not as good as our pie, but good enough." Dean laughed.

They took their slices back to their table and basically licked their plates clean. Or at least Dean did.

Dean turned his mouth to Cas's ear and whispered, "I can't wait to take you and just ravish you."

Cas smiled. "Is that a promise?"

Finally, they were leaving the reception. Dean wouldn't let Clara decorate the Impala, so they were taking a limo to the airport. They were headed to Australia. The entirety of the weeklong honeymoon was spent in the bed and only referring to each other as "husband."

* * *

Cas was on a business trip in Chicago. He really didn't enjoy traveling, but it was necessary for the case he was helping with. It was his last day and he was strolling through the gift shop of his hotel. He was looking for a small present to get for his nephew. He found his way over to the children section picking up random tee-shirts that David might like. He decided on a stuffed moose, David's favorite animal, with a shirt on it that had Chicago sprawled across it. His eyes lowered to the baby blankets below the stuffed animals. He fingers grazed the soft pink fabric.

"I'm sure your wife and baby miss you." Startled, Cas looked up to see the shop's employee.

"Sorry, what?" Cas squinted his eyes at her, confused.

"I said your wife and baby must miss you. So many times there's fathers in here trying to make up for business trips by buying toys and such. I feel so bad. Personal experience can attest that being an only parent gets lonely."

He looked down at the blanket in his hand, and promptly removed his hand. "Oh, no. I was just getting this for my nephew." He held up the moose. "I don't have any kids."

"Oh. Well, let me know if you need any help." She looked down, a bit embarrassed, and made her way back to the cash register.

Cas stood and stared at the blanket, contemplating. _Who am I kidding? I can't have a baby on my own. I don't want to. I want to have a baby with Dean. I want Dean to get up and comfort her when she's crying and I'm too tired. I want to see the love exploding in Dean's eyes holding our little girl. A little girl. That's exactly what I want. If only Dean wanted the same thing._

**_A/N: This took me what seems like forever to update. I just started my first week of college, so sorry haha. There's only one chapter left, I believe, and the epilogue! ahhh But I already have ideas swimming around in my head for different fics. lolz Anyways hope this hints more towards what will become of their relationship, maybe ;-) haha Thanks for the reviews and such! Hope you enjoyed reading this as much I did writing it :-)_**


	11. Sweet Child O' Mine

Dean put all the papers back in to the manila envelope. He was jittery from nerves; he tried shaking them off to no avail. He asked Cas to come over, and thankfully Cas agreed. They needed to talk.

Dean sat on a stool at the counter, waiting very impatiently for Cas's knock on the door. He knew Cas had a key, but he knew he wouldn't use it. A silent reminder that there was a divide between him and Dean.

He heard a rustling and the doorknob turn. The door squeaked open.

"Cas?" Dean jumped up.

"I hope you don't mind I used my key."

"It's your house, too, Cas."

* * *

"Okay, open your eyes." Dean pulled his hands away from Cas's eyes.

"This place is beautiful." He was standing in an open foyer; there was a hallway that led to a presumed living room and kitchen. There was a staircase that led to the second story with presumed bedrooms. He noticed the wood flooring throughout.

"Come look at the kitchen." Dean grabbed his hand and led him through the hallway. There were all new state of the art appliances throughout. "I thought this would be perfect for you to bake in. And look." Dean walked over the window and pointed outside. "I can set up a grill right there, and I can look at you through the window."

Dean grabbed Cas's hand again and led him to the connecting living room. "We can set up a huge TV right there and put your couch there and my chair there. And there's a guest room down the hall, Sammy can stay in there."

"Dean he lives twenty minutes from here." Cas laughed.

"Shh." Dean made his way towards the stairs, "You gotta check out the upstairs."

"The bedroom." He walked into the master bedroom. It was quite large with one huge window that looked out to the beach a few miles away. The bathroom was huge with a Jacuzzi tub, large shower, and his and her sinks.

"This is nice." Cas smiled, admiring the large spacious room.

"We can fit all our furniture in here." Dean said.

"Yeah."

"There's two other rooms upstairs. I was thinking of an office in one, not sure about the other."

"Yeah, it sounds awesome."

"Well, look around and tell me what you think, Cas." Dean smiled expectantly at Cas. He knew Cas would love the house. Cas made his way through the rest of the upstairs, noticing that the two other bedrooms would be perfect for two kids.

Dean laid down on the carpet in the living room waiting for Cas to come back downstairs.

"This place is perfect, Dean." Dean sat up.

"You really think so, Cas?"

"Yes."

"Good, because all I need is your signature and its ours." Dean handed Cas the papers to sign.

"Are you serious?"

"Yep, I paid for it yesterday. Its time to start a new adventure together, Cas."

Cas's eyes went wide. Dean bought their first house without him. He didn't even really care, the house was too perfect. His first house with Dean.

He quickly signed the papers and left them on the counter in the kitchen. He grabbed Dean's hand and led him back to the empty living room. He pulled him down to the carpet and they laid next to each other on their backs. Just holding hands, staring up at the ceiling.

"I love you, Cas."

"I love you, Dean."

* * *

"Do you really want to have kids with me, Cas?" Dean said. They were both standing, just looking at each other.

"That's all I want, Dean."

"Good, because all I need is your signature." Dean handed Cas the manila envelope full of papers.

"What are these?" Cas cocked his head and squinted at the envelope. _They can't be divorce papers. Dean wouldn't do this to me. _Panic, caused Cas's stomach to drop.

"They're adoption papers. I got them all yesterday. We have to go through a couple phases, but before you know it we'll be holding our own baby girl."

Cas looked up from the paper, eyes squinted confusedly at Dean. "Baby girl…"

"I-if you want a girl?" Dean got closer to Cas and placed his hands on Cas's arms.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do want a baby girl." Cas looked up at Dean. "But…"

"I realized how much of an utter douchebag I've been. I was just scared. I know now that all I want is to hold you while we stare at our beautiful baby in her crib."

"Dean, you're not just doing this, so that I won't leave you right? You really want this?"

"I don't know what I'd do without you. But I know I want those two rooms filled with two little angels. Our little angels."

Cas still looked unsure. He wanted oh so badly to be back here with Dean. To be back in Dean's arms. To be able to hear children laughing down the hall.

"Come look." Dean led Cas upstairs. They made their way to the first door on the left. It was turned into a nursery. "I know it won't happen immediately, but I wanted to be ready." Cas walked over to the crib and rubbed the blanket hanging over it between his fingers. He looked over at the rocking chair. He could picture Dean sitting there singing to the baby. He scanned the rest of the room. It was painted in a beautiful mint blue. There was simple white dresser. On top was a framed picture of Dean and Cas at their wedding, and next to that was two empty frames waiting to be filled.

He turned to look at Dean, "Where are the papers?"

Dean smiled and placed his hand on Cas's waist, pulling him against him. Cas held Dean's face in his hand and met his lips with Dean's. "I missed you so much, Dean. I love you." He whispered and turned his head to lie on Dean's chest. Dean just pulled his head closer into him, "I love you, too, Cas. And I'm excited for our new adventure." He smiled into Cas's hair.


	12. Epilogue

"Did you get the blanket?" Cas said, holding Carlie's foot and sliding on her little sandal.

"Yes, the stroller's packed. Diapers, wipes, snacks, water. We've made this trip hundreds of times before, Cas." Dean was rocking the stroller back and forth.

"I know, but this is Elle's first time." Cas smiled up at the bundle in the stroller.

"Papa, I have to potty." Carlie looked at Cas, expectantly.

"Dean, I thought you took her before we bundled her all up?" Cas sighed, unbuttoning the large coat on his daughter. It was a bit too late to decide that long johns were not the best idea to put on a toddler that has to use the restroom every hour.

"She said she didn't have to go." Dean said, defensively.

"She's three, Dean. Of course she said she didn't have to go."

"I'll take her. Come on, Carlie." He grabbed her hand and led her to the downstairs bathroom. Cas took charge of rocking the stroller. Soon, the two were out of the bathroom. Finally, they were on their way.

"Carlie, slow down!" Dean shouted after the little blonde three year old.

"I thought it was just the terrible two's." Cas said. "And how are you Miss Elle?" Cas opened up the covering of the stroller Dean was pushing. A pair of hazel eyes peered up at Cas. Then a burst of shrieks escaped her mouth and then came the tears.

"Uh oh. Someone's either hungry or just released something nasty in their diaper." Dean stopped the stroller and picked up Elle. He sniffed and made a face. "Hoo. Here you go, Cas." He handed Elle to Cas. Cas rolled his eyes, but took the diaper bag to the closest bathroom.

"Hey, Carlie, come here." Dean found an empty bench and pulled out a water bottle. "Hydrate." Carlie grabbed the bottle and started chugging. Soon, Cas returned settling Elle back in the stroller.

"All better."

"Carlie, how bout you hold onto the handle of the stroller. We need you to protect her if something happens." Dean freed a space on the handle and a smiling Carlie happily took the space. Cas smiled at Dean's ingenious way to get Carlie to stay close. Carlie shared the same protective trait as Dean.

They continued their walk around the park. It had become a daily ritual after Carlie had turned six months.

"It smells like…" Dean sniffed the air, trying to figure out why it was so tranquil here.

He continued sniffing, then came to the conclusion that he would never be able to perfectly describe the scent.

Cas laughed, "I love you, Dean."

"I love you, too, Cas. And my little munchkins." Dean took his hands off the stroller, letting Cas take over pushing it. He picked Carlie up and swung her onto his shoulders, leading to an uproar of giggles from Carlie and consequently Cas.

**A/N: The story is finally over :( I hope you all enjoyed reading it, because I enjoyed writing it haha. Thank you for reading and reviewing! :)**


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